A bipolar Blog

The plan was to update this blog daily. I was meant to give my readers a day to day account of what’s going on in my life and so on . . . .
The problem is that at the moment I’m going through a period of relative calm. Very rare I might add but this period of calm results in . . .well, nothing much happening at all really. I get up, go to work and go to bed. I’m sure this will change soon. To be honest I can’t remember there being such a calm period in my life.

So I thought I would publish the report from one of the first meetings I had while in the 18 month diagnosis period.

Part of diagnosis is elimination. There are many factors in mental health that can lead to the correct diagnosis. One of the first things they look at is whether my symptoms are psychotic. To assess this I had to attend a “Comprehensive Assessment of at Rick Mental States” assessment (CAARMS). This is conducted by the Early intervention team.

My was conducted over 6 weeks with each meeting being around 2 hours. The assessment is made up of lots of questions that are very personal and sometimes uncomfortable.

What you are about to read below is the final CAARMS assessment report. (I have changes and omitted some names and information to protect the privacy of others)

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CASENOTE P50254

Thank You for meeting with me on Monday 9th February. I am writing to summarise the assessment that we completed at that meeting.

The assessment that we used is called the comprehensive assessment of at risk mental states (CAARMS). This is designed to help us try to understand your current difficulties and identify whether you may be at risk of further difficulties in the future.

In this assessment you were able to describe some of the difficulties that you have been having in the last 12 months. You described to us Stressors around your ex partner causing difficulties for you and the recent death of your Father.

You described some significant changes in relation to your mood. You described cycles of “high” mood and “low mood”. Your perception of the world, thinking pasterns and taste of food can change dependent on mood. For example, when you are going high you will often experience racing thoughts and you will like the taste of spicy food more. You described these changes taking place every 3-4 months.

You have described some changes in your body which is concerning you. You have describes a crunching sensation in your head and pain behind your eyes which is getting worse. You have also describes a floating sense when walking. as though your body is filled with helium. you report this usually lasts for a moment and will happen 1-2 times a week. when this occurs you report you need to sit down which normally makes the feelings go away.

You described sometimes having an unusual experience when waking up whereby on occasions you have seen a rat or spiders in your bed. you acknowledge that they couldn’t be there. You have reacted to this by jumping out of bed and franticly trying to look for the creatures. You report that this is happening more and more often.

You describe fluctuations on your concentration depending on your mood. You also describe frequently changing between tasks and having “10 projects on the go at once” you describe this is how it’s been all your life.

You describe yourself as an emotional person and when you get very low and depressed it can “knock you for 6″

At this moment in time you describe feeling mentally and physically drained. you state you will cancel appointments, sleep badly and don’t get up. you describe periods where you “shut down” and stay in your room, This usually happens every 3-4 months. You also describe feeling irritated all the time and on occasions you will “go into a rage”. You described a recent incident where you ripped the taps off the sink due to dripping water and had to by some more and pay for an emergency plumber.  you also describe feeling irritated when your high due to things not happening quick enough.

You have reported that you are feeling emotional and withdrawn and your confidence is ”at an all time low”.

It is clear to us that you are experiencing significant difficulties with your mood, in particular relation to feeling “high” and “”low” which subsequently affects your thought process, emotions and functionality. It does not appear however that this is in relation to a psychotic illness and therefore we do not feel you are suitable from the input of the Early Intervention Team. It is apparent however that you need input from the community mental health team and need further assessment.  I will feedback this information to your Doctor and also the CMHT who will contact you in due course to make a further appointment.

Kind Regards

[omitted]

Early Intervention Team

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The early days of assessment cam be quite tough I had  issues I had not dealt with and issues that I had put to the back of the mind. At first it felt like I was being opened up like a tin of tuna. The mental health workers had the tin opener and kept turning it until my lid was  fully open. Once my lid had been taken off they squeezed the rest of the juice from me.  It was a tough time but in many respects I felt good after the appointments because finally somebody as listening.

Anybody reading this who is about to have appointments or is worried that they might need to see a doctor then my advice is simple. don’t worry, Get to the appointment. see your GP and mental health team. You will feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off of your shoulders eventually

There is life after diagnosis